Renick Lee
4 Pandan Valley
#08-413
Singapore 597628
(+65) 9139 8339 (m)
16 September 2012
Dr Craig Stenberg, Associate Dean (Student Affairs & Admissions)
c/o Ms Tammie Zhu, Assistant Admissions Manager
Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore
Admissions Department
8 College Road
Singapore 169857
c/o Ms Tammie Zhu, Assistant Admissions Manager
Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore
Admissions Department
8 College Road
Singapore 169857
Dear Dr Craig Stenberg,
Application for Duke-NUS MD
program 2013 intake
I am currently a Bioengineering undergraduate student at NUS and in
writing this letter wish to express my interest in being considered for the
Duke-NUS MD program.
Traits of mine that would be valuable to this opportunity are my
passion for helping others and constant desire to learn. In being part of a
team that educated and sourced jobs for unemployed such as ex-convicts and war
veterans I learned to value the process of interacting with someone who is
subjected to an unfortunate situation of which I am unfamiliar with and come
out of the experience with added perceptions if not different.
Being trained in Bioengineering has equipped me with various skills in
clinical settings while grappling with ethical issues. Interaction with various
personnel ranging from patients to clinicians through projects has contributed
to my versatility in effective communications in very differing situations and
environments and most importantly how to react under various forms of
pressures.
Having studied and worked overseas, I have developed skills in numerous
leadership and teamwork settings that nurtured my independence and resilience
to be more resourceful and confident. My experience in the contexts of foreign
professional and academic settings would enable smooth transitions into leading
team-based collaborations with your diverse and globalized multidisciplinary
body. Also, being bilingual would further facilitate my communicating potential
with representatives of different communities and generations.
It would be an honour to be accepted into such a prestigious program
committed to developing future leaders in medicine with your innovative
pedagogy and encouraging cooperative-learning culture.
Thank you for your time in considering my application and I look forward
to meeting you if I have met the criteria. I am contactable via my Email and
mobile number above.
Yours sincerely,
Renick Lee
Edited
Edited
Hi Renick !
ReplyDeleteYour cover letter is quite good ! I think that you could a little bit improve it.
For your information and the information of the firm, it is OK, no problem !
After it is good that you present the object of your letter.
Paragraph 1 : I think that it is a little bit strange to begin with : "I am Renick Lee". You could find another beginning. After it is good, you indicate why you write this cover letter.
Paragraph 2 : You speak about your educational background. You can add your marks if they are good.You can precise what is your role in the novel brain therapy project.
Paragraph 3 : Good paragraph because you show your experience. It is very precise and we see what you have done. Maybe you can skip a line (without creating a new paragraph) between "Dominican Republic" and "These in combination". If you do that I have the feeling that you add a skill at your profile.
It is possible to create a new paragraph for "In managing projects, I have acquired valuable ..." because I have the feeling that you speak about your leadership and human qualities. It is not the same thing as your experience, I think you could build another paragraph for that. Moreover, it could be good if you precise what kind of projects you have managed.
Paragraph 4 : OK
Global feeling : Good cover letter, you can more emphasize the good points of your work experience and education. Good language. Correct structure, maybe you can add some words like "Furthermore,moreover, ..." for showing the link between your paragraphs.
Hi Maxime, thanks for your comments.
ReplyDeleteI have indicated my class category as my marks. Is this sufficient or do I have to include my raw score.
I agree that I need to separate paragraph 3 as it is too long. Thanks for that.
Actually for the projects I managed I was refering to the ones I did for the experience paragraph. Should I still make a new paragraph?
Thank you for your help
Hi Renick!
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed by the language in your application letter, it is truly professional.
Also impressed by the structure of Maxime's comment. Not much left to cover :)
A few things I noticed though:
Think you are missing an "I" in the end of the first sentence.
"I look forward to meeting you should I have met the criteria." - Is it a correct sentence? I have never seen the use of "should" in that context. Is it the same mening as "if"?
Maybe move some of the details from paragraph 3 to the resume to be even more clear and concise? Not sure if it is even necessary. Over all great letter!
//Sofie
Hi Sofie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments and advice. I will change my sentences to be clearer and clean up paragraph 3 to be more concise.
Thanks again for your help.
Renick